Resisting my initial urge to suggest she tell them to shut their little turd mouths for daring to question her (and by extension, my) Star Wars knowledge, I decided I'd help her resolve the situation by providing her evidence to support her claim.
Going through my archive of Star Wars literature, I pulled out my copy of The Unseen Queen and photocopied the cover for her to bring to school the next day.
|Leia. Lightsaber. STFU, children.|
"Daddy, I showed them the picture, and they still didn't believe me. Spidey* said that Luke just let Leia borrow his lightsaber."
*Yes, that's his real name, and he was wearing a Spider-Man shirt his first day of school.
So I sat there thinking to myself Son. Of. A. Bith. What the hell is wrong with these kids?!? Can't they effing see that Leia's OLDER, and holding a BLUE lightsaber, when Luke's lightsaber is now GREEN!?! And the hilt is COMPLETELY different!!! What does this say about the American education system when kids are allowed to get by with such piss-poor observation skills!?!
Again biting my tongue, I said "that's too bad, sweetie. How about I get you a picture that shows that they're different lightsabers?" Then I drummed out this number for her to take back to the playground the next day:
|Ha HA! Different hilts! WHAT'S UP NOW?!?|
"They saw the picture, and they believe it's a different lightsaber now...but I told Jessica that Leia also has a pink lightsaber, and she said there's no such thing, but I know that there is because you showed it to me!"
Well then tell Jessica to go suck an egg, cuz clearly she's an ignorant moron that's never read a piece of Star Wars fiction in her life! How DARE she question my daughter's integrity! Jeez, can she even READ!?!
"Okay, honey. I'll make you one last picture
|Read a BOOK, you uncultured swine!|
"Daddy, I showed her the picture, and she says it doesn't count because it's not in the movies!"
It was finally at this point that I realized my little girl (and by extension, me) was getting trolled IRL by a bunch of five year olds. I sighed and decided to turn it into a Mr. Cleaver moment:
"Honey, there are just some people that are never going to believe you, no matter how much proof you give them. People are stubborn, and sometimes they just don't want to admit that they're wrong. But as long as you know that you're right, in the end that's what matters."
She seemed to accept that answer. She's pretty cool like that.
EpilogueDuring my daughter's parent-teacher conference a week later, her teacher thanked me for sending her to school with the pictures. Apparently this had become quite the argument on the playground, and the printouts I sent managed to calm things down significantly.
I nonchalantly shrugged and said "Ah, it was no big deal."